Recent Responses
Due to the volume of questions sent to us, we are regretfully unable to answer all of them. As a result, we are also only able to post a few of the questions and responses every week.
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(All of the following questions are from real people, and were posted with their approval)
Bad Fight with Boyfriend ...
"If you have a boyfriend (father of my child) and he hits you but it's the first time you ever fought
would you go back to him?
Would you stop speaking to him? We have been dating for five years. Please help."
The solution to your problem depends on a factors. Why did he hit you?
Look at the situation from both his perspective and your own. Is he a
hot-tempered person? Is he sorry for what he's done? Does your life feel
threatened? Usually people do not end a relationship because of a fight or
an argument.
If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable than you need help. Talk to your
friends, social workers or even police. Spend some time away from him and
do not go back until he is sorry and you feel safe again.
If it was an emotional act and you know that he did not mean it, than make
him understand he was hurting you and give him another chance. In either
case, learn to protect yourself, and don't let any argument escalate. If
you find an argument is getting too intense, take a walk to give him and
yourself a chance to cool off.
Personality Clash ...
"My boyfriend and I have a personality clash. We both have endured so many tramatic experiences in our lives, but we handle them differently.
I rely on others to talk to, make me laugh ... he keeps everything inside. When he gets angry I get blamed. He loves me, but that scares him.
I'm the first good thing to come along in ages. He tries to push me away. He is afraid to get hurt. How do I open the lines of communication?
How can he simply enjoy me, instead of pushing me away? How can I/we lessen his fears of LOVE? Thanks!"
Apparently, your boyfriend has a serious lack of confidence. There is no
easy remedy for this problem -- it takes a lot of time, love and trust to
heal it. If you love him, accept the fact that he is not you and will never
be like you. Exercise unconditional love. Show him your love, care and
openness without letting him feel that he needs to do anything. Simply set
an example and make him feel that you trust him. Over time, he may be
influenced by your devotion and come around. In the mean time patience and
faith are what is most important.
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