Have you noticed that the people making these predictions have ridiculous names? And none
of them are notable specialists in their field? While I'm sure it's just a "cosmic coincidence" that
none of them are qualified to make these predictions, you just can't help not wanting to punch them in
back of the head -- coincidentally, of course.
Here are predictions for the end of the world that just might happen. You never know. The "Predicted Date" is followed by
the name of the unfortunate predictor/predictors.
Sometime in 1998 -- Shoko Ashara
Based on computer data analyses, an apocalypse later this year will usher in the age of Aquarius, when "select souls will reach divine realms." Meanwhile, anyone unfortunate enough to not be selected will die a horrible, horrible death.
If you would like to learn more about Shoko Ashara, click here.
Sometime between 1997-1999 -- Vladimir Sobolyovhas
Russian scientist Vladimir Sobolyovhas of the Rerikh Academy has analyzed prophesies made by Russian saints (Nostradamus, for example). He announced his conclusions in September of 1997 -- That the earth's axis will suddenly tilt about 30 degrees sometime during the next two years. This will submerge the Scandinavian countries and Britain under water (take that, your majesty), in what is termed the Armageddon Flood. Siberia will be spared. He expects that aliens will intervene and lead the world into the fourth dimension. Right now these aliens are in hiding, somewhere on earth. Sobolyovhas says: "If we completely believed in them, we would get lazy. So they are clever. They stay hidden in the fourth dimension and only show themselves from time to time." Makes sense to me.
If you would like to learn more about Vlad the Predictor, click here.
Sometime in 1998 -- Centro
Centro is a very active religious organization, largely centered in the Philippines. They predict that the world will come to an end in 1998, and recommend that their followers retreat to safe places. As opposed to waiting next to a plate glass window, in a bottle factory, or other areas that produce deadly shards of glass.
Sometime in 1998 -- Edgar Cayce
Ahhh, good old Eddie. He lets me call him that. This famous, silly-faced psychic predicted that a secret, underground chamber will be discovered between the paws of the Great Sphinx. Inside, there will be documents revealing the history of Atlantis, which will in turn trigger the Second Coming of Christ. This prediction is rather interesting, because two independent studies have revealed that there is in fact an underground structure, just where Cayce said it would be.
If you would like to learn more about Edgar Cayce, click here.
October, 1998 -- Yisrael Hawkins
Hawkins, the high priest of The House of Yahweh, predicts that an end-of-world scenario will start during October, 1998. By the middle of the year 2001, 80% of the world's population will have been killed as a result of nuclear warfare.
If you would like to learn more about Yisreal and his House Party, click here.
January 20, 1999 -- Dr. Morris Palmer
Between January 20th and February 4th of 1999, an asteroid measuring 20 miles in diameter and travelling about 20,000 miles/hour will hit earth. At that speed and probable mass, it would massively disrupt all life processes on earth. Dr. Morris Plammer says that a photo was leaked to him by "highly placed friends" within NASA (it was probably a press release for Deep Impact), and allegedly contains markings in the shape of a Satanic face. Other equally reliable articles claim that Adolf Hitler is alive and living in Santiago, Chile, and that the captain of the Titanic was a woman (which still doesn't justify why the movie stunk).
August 11, 1999 and onward -- CALENdeRsign®
The WWW site CALENdeRsign® lists a number of astronomical events that will happen as the millennium closes. There has always been an association between such alignments and momentous events in the mind of the public. Starting in late 1999, the following will be observed:
- August 11, 1999 -- Total solar eclipse; visible from Europe.
- January 21, 2000 -- Total lunar eclipse; visible in Europe and the U.S..
- April, 2000 -- Triple planetary conjunction involving Mars, Jupiter & Saturn
- May, 2000 -- "Great Conjunction" of Jupiter and Saturn. This also occurred in 7 BCE, and is thought by some to be the star of Bethlehem, which lead the three wise men to baby Jesus.
If you would like to visit the CALENdeRsign® website, click here.
Sometime in 1999 -- The Order of the Solar Temple
The Order of the Solar Temple has been planning for a 1999 nuclear holocaust since 1952. The Swiss and French based group promises that followers will survive the war -- due to begin in the Middle East -- to build a celestial paradise in Jerusalem, Israel, on January 1st, 2000. Not all 3,000-or-so memebers will participate, though: Adherents chosen for sacrificial suicide (74 so far) will be busy living a weightless existence on the star Sirius, nine light years from earth,
Courtesy of Colors Magazine
Sometime in 1999 -- Hon-Ming Chen
Hon-Ming Chen has founded God's Salvation Church in Texas. The group believes that a nuclear war will destroy parts of Earth in 1999. They have identified a nine-year old boy as the "Jesus of the East", a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. They believe that if they can link him up with the "Jesus of the West", 100 million lives will be spared. The second Jesus supposedly lives in Vancouver BC, resembles Abraham Lincoln, and was born in late 1969. Their searches have been unsuccessful.
If you would like to learn more about Hon-Ming Chen and his groupies, click here.
January, 1999 -- Pope John XXIII
According to the June 24, 1997 issue of Sun Magazine, Pope John XXIII predicted in 1962 that visitors from outer space will arrive in chariots of flaming steel in the year 1999, and will share their advanced knowledge with humanity. Our life span will be increased to 150 years or longer and most diseases will be wiped out. Now I went to John XXIII elementary school, and they sure as hell didn't teach us that.
August 6, 1999 -- David Koresh
According to the latest interpretation of Biblical prophecy by Branch Davidian followers, 5 months of major torment will begin as the sixth seal is fulfilled, and David Koresh will raise from the dead. Ten bucks Koresh is hiding in Cuba right now until the big day.
If you would like to learn more about David Koresh and his Branch Davidians, click here.
August 11, 1999 -- Sun Magazine
According to the May 27th, 1997 issue of Sun Magazine, the Anti-Christ is alive today and living in the Middle East. On August 11th, 1999 (the time of a solar eclipse) he will make himself known to the world. "It will be the ultimate war." Many will perish, and their souls will travel to Heaven or Hell, depending upon which side they supported during the conflict.
August 24, 1999 -- Valerie James
Valerie James wrote in The European Magazine in 1996 that "The configuration of planets which predicted the coming of Christ will once again appear on Aug 24, 1999." We assume that she is predicting that Jesus' second coming will happen shortly after that date.
December 19, 1999 -- Dotson Meade
Sun Magazine listed a prediction of "Bible expert" Dotson Meade. He predicts that " ... something will happen that brings about the war which will end the world as we know it... There will be a vicious cycle of storms and earthquakes that lead to the final battle the world has awaited." This date was derived from information in the Dead Sea Scrolls. The rest of the prophecy is probably a guess.
2000 -- Micheal Drosnin
Michael Drosnin, author of "The Bible Code," found a hidden message in the Pentateuch (the first five books in the Bible) that predicts that World War III, involving a worldwide atomic holocaust, will start in the year 2000 (or perhaps 2006).
If you would like to learn more about Micheal Drosnin and his collection of secret decoder rings, click here.
January 1, 2000 -- Pope John XXIII
According to the June 24th, 1997 issue of Sun Magazine, Pope John XXIII predicted in 1961 that Doomsday will begin with the detonation of an atomic bomb on the first day of the new millenium, in a major European city by a Libyan terrorist group. This will trigger a massive six-month war that will cause the deaths of millions of people. What a scary Pope.
January 1, 2000 -- William Cooper
William Cooper, head of a militia group in St. John's, Arizona, predicted that on this date the secret chambers of the Pyramid at Giza will be opened. Its secrets will be revealed and Satan will become a public figure. The American militia will engage in a massive war at this time.
NOTE: The two predictions above are the only ones we've been able to find that will concede to the same day, probably because both parties were/are under the misconception that the new millenium begins on January 1st, 2000. Since 0 A.D. never existed, the first day of the new millenium would really be January 1st 2001. Pope John XXIII probably didn't take this into account because he knew he wouldn't live to see the end of world. William Cooper, however, has no excuse. He's just a barnyard idiot.
January 11, 2000 -- Weekly World News AKA Tabloid Cannon Fodder
According to the November 18, 1997 issue of the Weekly World News, the CIA caught a space alien who had crash-landed on Jun 20th, 1997 in a New Mexico desert. He is from a species that is considerably more developed, both mentally and spiritually, than mankind. He is the only survivor of the destruction of his world - a planet some 200 light years from Earth. He reports that God is "furious with His creations everywhere." Apparently none of the species that he created turned out as well as he expected. So God is now systematically working his way across the galaxies, setting fires to the planets and exploding them one by one. Earth will be the next date on the Almighty Death Tour, which is scheduled for January 11, 2000. But isn't it nice that we all have the same God?
May 5, 2000 -- R. W. Noone
R.W. Noone has written a book "Ice, the Ultimate Disaster," in which he predicts that the alignment of Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn, the first to occur in the past 6,000 years, will cause total devastation. Ice buildup at the south pole will upset the world's axis, sending trillions of tons of ice and water sweeping over the planet. The cover illustration shows an Egyptian pyramid surrounded by ice and lightning. Apparently ice is the author's big gimmick.
May 31, 2000 -- Religious Buffs
The estimated date that The Great Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn in front of Taurus occurs, which is thought to be the same celestial event that created the Star of Bethlehem in 7.B.C. Some people expect a supernatural event to accompany it, comparable to the birth of Jesus.
September 21, 2000 -- Dan Millar
Dan Millar (remember him? Astrology guy?) estimates this date as that of the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Four events happen on this Thursday.
- The sidereal day is reset.
- It is the Jewish New Year, using the Canaanite calendar that was in use within ancient Israel prior to the Babylonian Captivity.
- It is the time of the Jewish "Feast of Jubilees" according to a message given by the Virgin Mary to Father Stefan Gobbi ( a feast which occurs only once every fifty years).
- It is the date of the Autumn Equinox.
September 23, 2000 -- Lester Sumrall & Bob Poehler
About 40 percent of Christians believe Jesus Christ will return to punish the evil and save the faithful during the 21st century, according to a 1995 Associated Press poll. U.S. biblical scholars Lester Sumrall (pictured) and Bob Poehler calculate that Judgement Day will arrive in the year 2000: Poehler will be waiting for Christ on September 23, at 9:06 AM Universal Time, in High Pointe State Park, Bergen County, New Jersey."
Courtesy of Colors Magazine
December 25, 2000 -- Pope John XXIII
According to the June 24, 1997 issue of Sun Magazine, Pope John XXIII predicted in 1962 that Christ would appear in the sky over New York City on Christmas Day, 2000. He will announce the creation of a 1000-year paradise, to be proceeded by six months of great sorrow.
January 31, 2001 -- Sun Magazine
Sun Magazine reported in its October 14, 1997 issue that Noah's Ark had been discovered intact in undamaged form on a slope near Mount Ararat in Turkey. Inside were a group of 6 copper-gold-silver scrolls, each 12" square. The second scroll revealed that the sun will superheat the earth, melting both polar ice caps, and creating a world-wide flood. The third scroll revealed that Doomsday is set for January 31st, 2001. Those who repent now will be saved, while everyone else will go to Hell. By the way, the first scroll had a delicious recipe for Armageddon Shortcake cookies, which can be found in our Food and Travel section (F&T in the black menubar at the bottom of your screen)
2001 -- Jack Van Impe
Jack Van Impe Ministries sponsors the largest Evangelical Christian program devoted to end-time prophecy. On his home page, he discusses his book "On the Edge of Eternity" in which he predicts that the year 2001 will "usher in international chaos such as we've never seen in our history." He predicts that in 2001, and the years following, the world will experience "drought, war, malaria, and hunger afflicting entire populations throughout the [African] continent...By the year 2001, there will be global chaos." Islam will become much larger than Christianity. (That would take a sudden growth spurt; Islam is currently followed by 19% of the world's population vs 33% for Christianity). A one-world church will emerge; it will be "controlled by demonic hosts." Temple rituals (presumably including ritual animal sacrifice) will resume in Israel. Yuck.
If you would like to visit the Jack Van Impe Ministries website, click here.
Circa 2001 -- Charles Spiegel
Charles Spiegel, a retired psychology professor, preaches from a small town near San Diego, California, that the ancient land of Atlantis will emerge from the Caribbean circa 2001 CE. Shortly thereafter, one thousand extra-terrestrials from "Myton" in thirty-three spaceships will land there and bring new knowledge to humanity. I'm sure glad he's retired.
Late Spring/Early Summer of 2003 -- Nancy
Space aliens called Zetas are communicating through their earthly contact, Nancy. They describe how a comet visits earth every 3657 years, and during the next pass, the earth will go through the comet's tail. This will stop the earth's rotation for a few days.
"Gigantic lightning bolts (will) occur in the upper atmosphere, violent winds (will) occur, and petrochemicals formed in the skies (will) rain down in firestorms. Then, as the core of the Earth attempts to align magnetically with the giant comet, there (will be) a pole shift with continental rip and sinking and rising land. How gigantic Tidal Waves (will) assault the coasts, though water movement began when rotation stopped, and an ocean vortex (will then) form; how plate shifts (will) result in a sinking atlantic floor, affecting the surrounding shorelines; but how the other planets will be little affected."
The earth will start rotating again, but with new poles, equator, geography and climate. One can only wonder -- What's
Nancy been smoking?
Late 2004 -- Arnie Stanton
Arnie Stanton noted on September 16th, 1997 that that evening was the fourth Jewish festival since April 3rd, 1996 on which a lunar eclipse occurred. He quotes Luke 21:25-26 which mentions "signs in the sun, in the moon and in the stars and on the earth distress of nations" He believes that "these recent lunar eclipses are the last known astronomical signs that will preceed a seven year (360 day/year) countdown to Armageddon/Christ's return to the Earth." He expects that Christ's return will occur within a few months of 2004-SEP-29 when Asteroid Toutatis will make a very close approach to the Earth - perhaps even a collision! But really, would you trust the calculations of ... an ARNIE?
If you would like to learn more about Arnie, click here.
2012 -- Michael Drosnin
Michael Drosnin, author of "The Bible Code," found a hidden message in the Pentateuch (the first five books in the Bible) that predicts that a comet will crash into the earth in 2012 and annihilate all life.
If you would like to learn more about Micheal Drosnin and his collection of secret decoder rings, click here.
December 22, 2012 -- The Mayans
The Mayan calendar has many divisions of time: months of 20 days, years of 360 days, katun of 7200 days and a baktun of 144,000 days. Their calendar started on August 13th, 3114 BCE with the birth of Venus. They expect the world to last for exactly 13 baktun cycles and anticipat the end of the world near the Winter Solstice of 2012.
2016 -- Weekly World News AKA Tabloid Cannon Fodder
An article in Weekly World News describes a find by a Professor Lloyd Cunningdale of Salt Lake City. Cunningdale was excavating with his students at the site of the famous Donner party disaster of 1847 -- A group of settlers bound for California and were trapped by snow in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Cunningdale and students found a time capsule left by the settlers which contained many predictions for the future. They predict that nations will abandon traditional methods of conflict and resort to the use of biological warfare and that in 2016, one such disease will spread and kill all of humanity.
Between now and 2018 -- A Nightmare for Everyone and the Countdown to 2000
The web site "A Nightmare for Everyone and the Countdown to 2000" predicts that an asteroid and comet will hit the earth, sometime between the re-creation of Israel in 1948 and 2018. They're probably a bunch of yahoo teenagers working out of their basement though. Regardless ...
If you would like to visit A Nightmare for Everyone and the Countdown to 2000, click here.
2038 -- Greenpeace (the only prediction to take seriously)
Within forty years, humanity will have irreversibly damaged the earth's climate and capacity to produce food, say environmental activists Greenpeace. "The eight hottest years on record have all occured since 1980, and industrial emissions have boosted global temperatures as much as 0.6 degrees Celcius in the last 140 years. The planet faces temperature changes unprecedented in history: Changing rainfall patterns will bring drought to some areas and floods to others. Many plants and animals will face extinction. The sea will probably rise 3-10mm a year, threatening the 70 percent of the world's population who live on coastal plains," It's not necessarily all doom and gloom, continues Greenpeace's 1994 report. "But the longer we delay action, the more extreme that action will have to be."
Courtesy of Colors Magazine
September 14, 2047 -- The Church of !BLAIR!
According to The Church of !BLAIR!, the human race will probably be terminated at 3:28 AM (Soho, England time). The church teaches that if the human race does not discard their plastic conformity, then the Gods will withdraw their protection. The Gods don't want us to worship them; they don't want sacrifices or even offerings. They just want us to rid itself of our excessive "Normalcy". At that point, Astro-Lemurs (extra-terrestrials similar in shape to lemurs, but with rainbow colored bodies) will attack the entire human race and beat them to death with gigantic burritos. You have been warned.
Between 7098 and 7801998 -- J. Richard Gott III
U.S. statistician and astrophysicist J. Richard Gott (the third!) tells us that there is a 95% percent chance human will become extinct in 5, 100 to 7.8 million years. Bravo, poindexter.
If you would like to learn more about J. Richard Gott (the third!)'s "genius", click here.
I hope you've enjoyed this enchanting tour of Doomsdays yet to be. You can find additional informational on particular "prophets" in our Lunacy section -- a dozen or so are Featured Fruitcakes.
Don't forget to mark off these days, months, seasons or years in you daily planner. The last way you want to spend your vacation days is in the wake of seven mile high tidal wave.
For the feature GHOSTS OF DOOMSDAY PAST, click here.
